Why do Boys draw Penises?

Got your attention yet??

I am the mother of 3 (almost 4) boys. I have seen and heard alot - I will not say I have seen and heard it all because as soon as I do, one of them will do something to set back our entire species.

There are so many things I find interesting about the male species - especially the 5 - 16 year age range but the most current finding is that nearly all boys from 5th grade and up draw penises.

They apparently draw them everywhere they can, in every color, every shape and at times even accessorize the penis drawings with hats, glasses and superhero costumes.

I was first introduced to penis drawings when my oldest son (at the time he was in 7th grade) came home with a rather large and comical rendering on his binder. His school binder that he hauls around to every class. I was completley amazed that having a large, pencil sketched, hat wearing PENIS drawing on his binder did not bother him one bit.

In fact he sported the binder around with a sort of CAVEMAN PRIDE - almost grunting like he had reached some level of manhood. This truly fascinated me so I asked both of my older sons to sit down and talk to me about the magic that is PENIS drawing.

I set up the discussion interview style (I find if you add a bit of humor in on talks that consist of the sexual organs then they respond better and both parties get way more out of the discussion)

It went something like this:

Mom: Why is there a cartoon like picture of a Penis on your binder?
Chase:  Because (what's his name) drew it on there.
Mom: Do you draw penises?
Chase: Ya, everyone does - well all the boys do.
Mom: Why?
Chase and Chandler: (he is the younger boy - at the time he was 10) - Because its funny and easy to draw.
Mom: Do you have more penis drawings?
Boys: yes, here (hands me a actual sketch book)
Mom: (I was too shocked to say anything for about 2 minutes as I gazed over their drawings - some were pretty good - very creative - GOOD GOD DOES THIS MEAN THEY ARE GAY??)
Boys: Are we in trouble?
Mom: I don't know, I would prefer that you don't draw penises at school or on anyones property.
Boys: Okay
Mom: Do you guys ever draw boobs or vaginas?
Boys: Ewwww (I am pretty sure Chandler passed out when the word Vagina came out of my mouth) NO
Mom: Why??
Chase: I don't know what a VAGINA looks like.

Hmmm.... that makes sense.

Do you ever feel like everyone in your house is an IDIOT?

I so feel that way this evening. I know this is wrong but lets be real, All of you moms out there at one time or another have felt this way. I find that being 6 months pregnant makes me feel this way about 3 times per week.

I am not gonna sugar coat this little tidbit of info. My children are all idiots right this very second. I am sure the feeling will subside by morning but right now I just look at them and want to puke.

Prior to about 30 minutes ago - I could not get 1 of the 4 to stop and pay attention to me or anything I was saying. The moment I sit down to give this blog a makeover and to actually post about something - they are all in my face.

Chase (my oldest - 9 days away from being 15) wants me to medicate this huge a** wart on his elbow. I'm not kidding the thing is big enough to have a name Thorton".

<<<< Thornton

Autumn (9yrs - only girl) then decides to show me she also has a small wart on her finger - WTH?? Where are all these warts coming from? She also decides to trim her fingernails while sitting next to me - flippings flying onto my keyboard.

<<<< fingernail clipping daughter

Chandler (12yrs - boy) is not technically in my face but he is doing everything in his power to piss off everyone in the house including the dog. He needs to be tied up to a post outside and possibly beaten.

<<< annoying 12yr old

Chance (5yrs -boy) I have no idea where he is - he is in the house but I have not heard from him in at least 40 minutes and I am sure nothing good can come of that.

<<< Found him! In my bathroom - that smile means trouble

<<< This is what he was after on the sink - Don't ask me what it is - I don't know and I don't want to.

Jason (hubby) - He has escaped my wrath for now - He is at Lodge for the evening.

Chayden (24 week boy fetus) - Possibly the best behaved child in the house.