New Year's Resolution

UGGGGHHHHHHHH

I do not like New Years Resolutions. In fact I am pretty sure I have kept anything that resembled a NY resolution to myself - always. I am trying something different this year though. Gonna step out of my box and be brave.

Here is my list:

Make a couple NY resolutions - that's right, my first resolution is to make a resolution. That way when I look back at this, at least I will have completed at least one.

I would like to improve my relationship with my daughter (10 yo) - I have not ever tried to hide the fact that I am what you call a "Boy" mom. I can handle boys better, I relate to them easier and all in all, boys are just easier to raise (in my opinion). I do realize that when I signed up for this mommy thing that there was no EASY button to choose. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having a daughter, lover her more than words. I just don't relate to her that well. I am not a "girly-girl" and she is nothing but that. I am trying hard though and so is she. I gotta step up my game cause puberty waits for no one.

I really want to be comfortable in my own skin. I can't remember the last time I was totally secure in my body. The last 2 pregnancies and the fact that I let my gym/eating habits get very lax, has totally taken a toll on my body. I have gotten back into a good gym schedule and the results are really good. But I am still not happy with my body. It is the main reason I am having my mommy makeover in February. To try and repair what age, pregnancy and just plain laziness has done.

So there you have it - I have blogged it out loud for all to hear and know I am gonna have to actually do it.

You should totally go check out The undomestic momma - after reading her blog maybe your NY resolution should be to be thankful for your health and quit whining about how crappy your life is. This chick is fighting cancer and raising a young daughter. She also makes some bad ass Soy candles Baby Love Bowtique. Go get you some.

To do before Christmas

Happiness is...

Waking up next to Big Daddy every single day (unless it is hunting season then thats like 5 days a week)

The end of hunting season

The begining of Hunting season (kinda like having a hot summer and wanting winter)

The curls on the back of my Sweet baby boy's precious head

The realization that my daughter got my legs - they are like 3 miles long (then that brings on fear and another post dedicated to that)

My 16 year old boy that hugs me several times a day - except now he towers over me and actually lifts me off the ground.

The smell of my 13 year old boys hair - it has never lost the smell that he was born with.

My mom

Sloppy kisses from my 6 year old

Time by myself - usually at the gym but I will take it when and wherever I can get it

Genetics and the lack of stretch marks even after 5 pregnancies

Silicone

Really awesome girlfriends

Victorias Secret


Also go check out Aunt Becky at Mommy Wants vodka and get yourself some Christmas spirit.

Strippers, periods and an easy way to wipe your ass

I had a great visit with a good friend the other night. My hair chick - she rocks and not just at doing hair. She gets me, I get her. We click, I can say pretty much anything without the worry of offending her or her possibly reporting me to CPS. We agree on the fact although we love our children with all our hearts, blah,blah,blah - they are at times huge ASSHOLES. I can also discuss my marriage with her. The good, the bad and the ugly.

This most recent visit we discussed the fact that we are both having elective surgery in February - one week apart. I was giving her some tips that I have received and it went a little something like this:

Me: You know you probably won't be able to wipe your ass for a few days after surgery?

L: Oh god, I didn't even think about that.

Me: Barbara told me she would do it for me but I don't want anyone else wiping my ass.

L: I'm gonna ask R (her husband) if he will wipe mine.

Me: Big Daddy already said he wouldn't do it and I got offended, but then I thought about it and I am pretty sure I wouldn't wipe his ass. I've seen that area before and it looks like he has a dead animal in a head lock. It's not right. No one should have to see that.

L: I am gonna take extra stool softners just for R.

Me: I invented a tool to help me in the process

L: Really? Please share

Me: Take a Swiffer duster wand and insert a couple baby wipes into the grooves, then its long enough to go between your legs instead of having to reach around (reach around nearly impossible after a tummy tuck)

L: You are Pure Genius

Me: You're welcome

It's then time for me to sit under the dryer

15 minutes later...

Me: What do strippers do at the all nude clubs when they are on their periods?

L: That is a good question - While we are recovering lets take a field trip to one of those places

Me: Sure - we could go in and do an interview with a stripper  - it would be good if we could find one on her period - Maybe they have them labeled

L: Labeled? like how?

Me: I don't know - like with a tampon shaped silly band

L: again Genius

Me: I have heard they just cut the string real short during their time

L: What if they are dancing and the tampon falls out

Me: We probably shouldn't enter one of those places with stitches and non healed wounds - we would probably contract something

L: true - we might have to just do a phone interview

That pretty much completed our visit. Greatness..