I have been asked several times here lately just how I have went about explaining my upcoming surgery to my gaggle of children.
First off I never even though about hiding any of it from them. It is just too big of a recovery to do that.
The oldest 3 (16,13 &10) - I simply told them the truth. I told them what I was having done and why I was doing it. I laid out how the recovery will most likely go and what they can expect from me during it. I also told them what I expected of them. My oldest boys wanted to know exactly what a tummy tuck was and how it was performed. I told them, every gruesome detail. My daughter (10) didn't really ask any questions. She asked if she could stay home from school and take care of me. How sweet, ya right, any excuse to miss school.
My 6yr old knows that I will have a cut and some stitches but that is about it. I have prepared him by reminding how it was after baby was born (almost a year ago) and he gets that.
I think what you tell your children is up to you and how old your children are. It also depends on the mood of your house. We are a very open family. Things are discussed openly, they all know that Big Daddy and I have an open door policy when it comes to touchy subject matters.
I worried about the impact this decision would have on the self esteem of my daughter. Hoping that by me electing to have plastic surgery, would that make her feel the need to have to look perfect, feel perfect, be perfect.
I decided to open up that subject with her one day, I said "Diva, you know that you don't have to worry about your body right now?" "You are beautiful just the way you are" Diva answered with " I am aren't I?"
I don't think her self esteem has been damaged at all.
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9 comments:
I absolutely think that honesty is the best policy! I don't think there is any need to hide these types of things from our kids...after all, they were the cause in the first place, right? :)
Your diva reminds me of my diva...
Heeheehee! That's totally something Hannah would say.
I do worry somewhat about the message that I'm sending them in this "magazine cover perfect" society. And yet, look at how we're going about this. Good, clean eating habits. Plenty of hard core muscle building and exercise. Healthy goals. Not puke until you're stick thin and ill goals. So yes, we're also choosing to have our stomachs reconstructed. And I suppose in some ways that *is* a little vain. And yet, I think the other stuff overshadows it. Perhaps I'm just hoping it will balance out in the end.
Smart girl!
Found you via Scarey Mommy..love your post. Why is there such shame in it...because i feel it too? I totally want (read- need) a boob job and my tummy needs to have a little tuck and pull. Why doesn't that extra skin go ANYWHERE!?!?
Anywho, I have 4 boys...wishing you much luck and safety!
Sounds like you handled it perfectly! WTG :)
Have no shame! I agree honesty is best. And plastic surgery is about taking the abnormal and making it normal again, not about making your face look like a cats or something. Best to let your daughter see that there is no shame in taking pride in one's appearance. Good luck!!!
Im with you on honesty as the best policy. And as far as plastic surgery, I was one of those silly silly SILLY 18 year olds who announced I;d never have plastic surgery... Well, I havent yet but Ive sure changed my tune. I think what youve done for your daughter has been to show her that sometimes is pretty ok to get stuff done. Good luck with it!!
I commented on you post on this over at Scarry Mommy, but I wanted to add here that I too worry what effect me doing plastic surgery will have on my daughter. If I decide to go ahead and do this, I'm really going to have to think about how I want to present it to her.
Hey there, I have checked out your blog in the past through Brandi's page, just gotta say you make me laugh so hard so thank you for that.
I have two boys and I want a mommy makeover SO BAD! My husband has said he is open to the idea of a tummy tuck. I have worked out off and on in the past 5 yrs after having my 1st son and what you wrote on the Scary Mommy page is so right, the belly is a problem area after having kiddos. I can lose pounds and inches all day long, build great arms and legs but the belly just never gets tight. Good luck on your journey, I will be keeping up with your blog : )
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