Now all you have is a lizard with poop on it.

You could say that the way Big daddy and I parent our gaggle of children is at times unconventional. I am alot of times a hard ass and have to remind myself (alot) to bring that down a level. I just see so many parents that coddle their kids and constantly make sure that things are fair. I think that is a huge disservice to your kids. At some point they need to fall on their little asses, get kicked a few times on the way down and learn to fight their way back up.

Now before you call me mean (this happened a few weeks ago, my Diva's friend and another little girl told Diva that I was mean) know that with all the REAL life treatment my kids get, they are also hugged and kissed and I sniff their heads every day.

Sometimes, you just have to let them learn. There have been times that my "Mother Lion" instinct had to be roped up and thrown into the basement.

For example:

When The Boy was playing 6th grade football and was disrespectful to his coach - he had to pay the consequences of that action. He did this by doing 100 "burpees" (kinda like a jump squat push up thing) on the ground that was loaded with big Texas sized stickers. When I pulled up to practice to pick him up, the coach told me what happened and what his punishment was. The Boy was crying and his hands were bleeding and he was embarrassed. My mother heart went into rage but my mother brain said "chill woman, he will live and he will learn from it." He lived through it, his hands were scratched up for a few days and his ego mended. He learned to keep his mouth shut and a bit of the boy was gone but in its place a fine young man was brewing.

A few weeks ago "Wild man" (6yrs) asked for a Chameleon - Not a goldfish or puppy or even a hedgehog, but a CHAMELEON. Thanks Bindi the Jungle girl. I without hesitation said "NNNOOOOO" He without hesitation CRIED. The Wild Man is a crier. Unless you are missing body parts, I do not handle crying well. Big daddy said " Explain to him why he can't have a Chameleon, don't just destroy his dreams. So now I am MEAN and a Dream Destroyer. The explanation went a little something like this.

Me: Why do you want a chameleon?
Wild man: cause they are cool and awesome and they can match your clothes

Me: match your clothes? what?
Wild man: You know they turn colors that match you

Me: got it - won't that make it easy to lose?
Wild man: no - I'll put a collar and leash on it

Me: do they make collars and leashes for chameleons
Wild man: Yes, Bindi the Jungle girl has one

Me: She lives in a zoo, its easy to have a chameleon in a zoo but at home it would be hard
wild man: Can we live in a zoo?

Me: Listen, let me tell you what is going to happen to that Chameleon. One day its gonna get out of its cage and hide in the bathroom. You will be going poop and grab some toilet paper, the chameleon will have color changed and matched the toilet paper, you then will accidentally wipe your butt with the chameleon. Now all you have is a lizard with poop on it. Do you want that?
Wild man: stares at me with a look  of horror on his face - then he cries.

big daddy: staring at me with a look of horror on his face as well - just shakes his head. I think he wanted to cry to.

All talk about wanting a Chameleon is over and I have blocked Bindi the Jungle girl from all our TVs.