Sometimes not all the time but sometimes, I feel like I'm invisible. Don't freak out, I'm not going to go all Britney Spears and shave my head. I love my hair, I'd shave someone else's head first. I just at times feel like I'm invisible. Like sometimes the daily grind has grinded me down to a fine powder that the wind could blow 50 miles away and no one would notice.
I can't be the only mom who has ever felt this way.
It's just so tiring at times to be everything to everyone in my home. I love them all with all my heart.
Sometimes though I just wanna lock myself in my closet and play pretend. I pretend I'm a big time corporate professional and live in a gazillion dollar apartment in New York. I eat dinner at 10pm and I wear pantyhose. I collect art, I drink fancy wine and my shoes cost more than my mortgage payment. I would not be invisible.
But then I hear a tiny little knock on my closet door and a tiny little voice says "Mommy" and I'm whisked away from my posh New York apartment. My expensive shoes are replaced by Nikes and dinner was served at 5:30.
I open the door to a snotty faced 14 month old that thinks I'm playing hide and seek. He pushes his way in and collapses on top of me, wiping his snot from my forearm to my ear. He gives me a open mouth drool kiss and like magic the wind blows and breathes life back into my once powdery existence.
I am not invisible anymore but I will be again and again I can pretend and that's ok. It ok to be tired of the daily duties. It's ok to lock yourself in your closet and dream of something different. We are moms but we are humans. We have centered our lives around our families but it's okay to fantasize about being someone else sometimes.
Gotta go, someones knocking on my door.